10 more days...

counting days.... 10 more days

my Hana Azzalea Masjiril turn 1yr young

mummy love you so much ... 

Happy birthday to me..

actually we all kumpul ramai ramai and buat birthday celebration together. for those yg birthday on april la.. my causin welma 19 march ( if m not mistaken LOL) 

fadilin 6 apr 

me 14 apr

cepatnya masa berlalu kan now i dah 35 yrs young heheheeh..well alhamdulillah so gratefull for everything in mylife.. ada family yang best thanks & loving frens.as for my mother & father and my brother thanks  for having me and love me.. thanks to Allah swt for kurnia kan me Hana Azzalea my beautiful 7th month daughter.  

syukur sangat sangat..i've learn alot tis past few year..even tho my marriage jus bertahan for 4 month but so gratefull for the experience dugaan dan ujian yang Allah swt bagi. really membuka hati , minda dan pemikiran i. i banyak belajar sifar dan perangai manusia in just a blink of eyes.. in future  i akan lebih berhati hati dalam menilai perangai, hati dan sifat manusia. 

apa apa pun yang terjadi i sangat happy wif my life now..syukur alhamdulillah

 

she happy and of cos me more happier..

picture do speak thousand words right? LOL - mode malas nak type berjela jus tgk pic is enuf  :P

back @ home. urggghhh..me so tired la mommy..

hmmm try and survey baby walker..but is it necessary?? still wondering tho

once recovered i bring her kai kai to city mall..

Alhamdulillah, finally rashes gone and she happier than ever..no more  crumpy baby   LOL

Sewing room inspirations

hmmm.. while i am not so cun seamstress but i do dream of a beautiful/comfortable sewing rooms where i will whip up all sorts of beautiful clothing and craft. tapi rasanya daydreaming jak la tu kan but who knows one day my dream come true..coz right now i'm crafting or do my sewing at my living room. lepas siap nak kemas lagi tu yg bikin malas tu. so kesimpulanya i realy need a space/room to sew..but problem sekarang ni my apartment tu kecik ja pun huhuhuhu. ;( where got space or room extra lagi.)

but nevermindla, here's a few of my inspiration. i don't think i will be able to achieve this unless i buy bigger house or else balik kampung tinggal kat my mom house. kat kampung boleh la extend buat sewing room :D inshaAllah one day dream will come true. 

ok semua pic kat bawa ni is my inspiration picture (image from google ya') i will keep saved in my inspiration bank for future use. 

tak sabar rasanya nak  gi beli serger machine

tis pic pun cute juga

Just nice and simple kan..

kalau macam ni la my sewing space mesti banyak baju yg terhasil  :P

yummy yellow

since i loovee to collect buttons, thought of this was a cute  way to display them.
adorable & easy to see what is in tat jar.

i mesti buat macam ni kalau ada space tu nanti.

and for the wall kaler i guees i will choose happy kaler like :-

yummy yellow

touquoise

Pink

Lilac

Baby Blue

Ngeeeee :) hopefully semua impian akan jadi kenyataan suatu hari nanti..InshaAllah..Amin

choices..

Choice are never easy to make- the one you love may not be good to you. The one who is good for you may not the one you love..but still you have to make the choices that you think is the right one.

counting the day to come...

I’m about 2 months and 15days away from turning 32 yrs old. Now I realize life is too short.I’ve been thinking a lot about the kind of girl I used to be, all the cool things I’ve seen and done, as well as all the stupid mistakes I’ve made that have ended up hurting myself and others close to me.


I look back my past life and I can’t help but ask myself- have I grown up? Am I the person I wanted to become? Am I where I should be in terms of my character and my career? We live in a society that demands we achieves as much as we can, as fast as we can. But what happens if we don’t? What if life takes us in difference direction, somewhere we weren’t expecting to ever go? What then? Still remembber, when I finally got out of school and started working, I was stunned by how ambitious I was how badly I wanted to succeed and how far I was willing to go to achieve success. When you’re just beginning to build your career, you have a lot of zeal. Everything is about doing well & making money.

It’s a very blind period in one’s life, I feel. Most of the times you don’t notice a lot of things because you’re so focused on putting yourself out there, its like tunnel- vision. And because you’re so in the thick of everything, because you keep pushing to get where you want to be, it isn’t until much, much later that you start to see all the cracks in the systems, all the chinks in the armor,
All the things you sacrificed to get where you are.

Should i feel ashamed? What if, a little over a year from now, I wake up only to find myself still not rich and still not married? I suppose this is where the: as long as you’re happy” saying comes into play. But this isn’t necessarily about you think.what about your family? Families always say they want what’s best for their children and they mean it. In fact, I’d say that’s probably the most directly honest thing you will ever hear your parents say to you. They want what’s best because they love you.The reason they drive this point home is because the alternative isn’t worth thinking about. From childhood, we are brought up to believe success equals happiness, and that one rarely exists without the other.Ideally, when my 32 birthday swings around, I should have a solid life, be married to a nice husband, hopefully.

life

We all having very different experiences with love, maybe for me I didn’t love myself enough to have a man who loved me dearly. I need to learn to love myself and accept the real me and see deep side of me so that I could open my heart to bringing the right person in my life.

We all mess up from time to time or maybe. Allow each other to mess up, and perhaps the best we can do is expect people to learn from what happen and admit to that and move from that. And for me I learned a lot from past experience and hopefully I can move on. I think there is a struggle to find balance in life. Sometime for some reason I feel a need to have it all, a family, a relationship, and work. I think we spread ourselves really thin to make the effort to make it all happen. I don’t know if it can be done, I honestly I don’t think anyone knows. We just try to be happy, searching for serenity in life.. Yup tats sound nice actually, easier to say..than to be done

Oh maybe,just MAYBE life would be easier to just surrender and let things happen the way they’re supposed to be. I’m not saying we should surrender everything and not have ambition or have any thought of where you want to go, what you want to accomplish or who you want to be with, but it’s as matter of, you can’t fight what is going to happen. It’s more of an adventure and we will never know what and how its was if we not dare to try.

I’m tried and sick of mylife And myself. It’s the curse of life, you have to fight to find time, and relationships are hard work. They need workouts. It’s like cultivating anything. Its need attention, care and application. Actually anything and everything in this world you have to fight and I really tired!! Maybe start from now I really need to think the slogan “ what goes around comes around” and “you fool me first ashamed on you , fool me twice ashamed on you”

Love File

• When u say " I LOVE YOU" mean it
• Remember that great love and great achievement involve great risk
• Love deeply and passionately, you might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely
• 3 little 'R' Respect for self ; Respect for others ; Responsible for all your actions
• When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it
• Remember that best relationship is one where you love for each other is greater than you need for each other
• You have a choice of either saying something that will nurture or rip up your relationship every time, so think before you speak
  

Been there,Done that

Has there been time when you’ve asked yourself “surely there must be more life than this? Have you ever had that niggling feeling and said to yourself” I’m cut out for better things”. If you’ve felt frustration after doing all that you know and not getting the result you are after, if you recall how drained and tired you felt, perhaps a little desperate even.. Trust me I’ve been there.
I know what it’s like to walk on eggshells, be close to tears, afraid to trust myself, or others, always wondering, “Am I doing the right thing? I can remember asking myself” what wrong with me?” Mores the pity when, after time gone by, we forget the things we like and what it is that’ we makes us happy, because we have been too busy pleasing other people and Sometime the one with whom we are meant to be soul mates, the one have agreed to notice us, sometimes takes us most for granted. Isn’t it ironic that the one we entrust our hearts to, have the capacity to hurt us the most? Yeahh it’s too sad.. but one day I told myself, “This is rubbish”. I am not having any more of this feeling and questions.” how much nonsense am I going to accept? How many moments of my life must I sacrifice? Am I so powerless that I can do nothing? I need to change, life is also a series of choices we make and here’s the thing. Nothing changes until we decide. Better choice than no choice. Better control than no control.

Life happens. There are things ways out of our control, like the behavior of other people. Their action is theirs. Its belong to them, not us. Their behavior is theirs, not ours. The only thing we can controls our response, our thoughts, our feelings, our actions, our words. String these together and they form our life! It’s up to us whether we want good days or bad days. We are all different, aren’t we? Or is it that we are all the same? As with life, love is a game of actions and transactions. By “game” I’m referring to anything that can be picked up. We can “see” the game, can “hear” and “feel” the game. Game give clues and games have clues, some play the “use em and lose em” game. Other plays the “I give my life to you” game. Depending on the game we play, the rules and result differ.

As for me, I need a man who is prepared to be fully present to me, so I can be me. I want him to listen, really listen, hearing even what is not said, to be able to make sense to my silence. I want him to be there for me when words get difficult. Perhaps I am the incurable romantic. I knew I am a believer in miracles, knowing that I will see it when I believe it. Well who can blame me if I want the all..?The romance, the flower, the chocolate? I know if it is meant to be, it’s up to me.. After all I just want to be the happiest person the whole wide world.