Been there,Done that

Has there been time when you’ve asked yourself “surely there must be more life than this? Have you ever had that niggling feeling and said to yourself” I’m cut out for better things”. If you’ve felt frustration after doing all that you know and not getting the result you are after, if you recall how drained and tired you felt, perhaps a little desperate even.. Trust me I’ve been there.
I know what it’s like to walk on eggshells, be close to tears, afraid to trust myself, or others, always wondering, “Am I doing the right thing? I can remember asking myself” what wrong with me?” Mores the pity when, after time gone by, we forget the things we like and what it is that’ we makes us happy, because we have been too busy pleasing other people and Sometime the one with whom we are meant to be soul mates, the one have agreed to notice us, sometimes takes us most for granted. Isn’t it ironic that the one we entrust our hearts to, have the capacity to hurt us the most? Yeahh it’s too sad.. but one day I told myself, “This is rubbish”. I am not having any more of this feeling and questions.” how much nonsense am I going to accept? How many moments of my life must I sacrifice? Am I so powerless that I can do nothing? I need to change, life is also a series of choices we make and here’s the thing. Nothing changes until we decide. Better choice than no choice. Better control than no control.

Life happens. There are things ways out of our control, like the behavior of other people. Their action is theirs. Its belong to them, not us. Their behavior is theirs, not ours. The only thing we can controls our response, our thoughts, our feelings, our actions, our words. String these together and they form our life! It’s up to us whether we want good days or bad days. We are all different, aren’t we? Or is it that we are all the same? As with life, love is a game of actions and transactions. By “game” I’m referring to anything that can be picked up. We can “see” the game, can “hear” and “feel” the game. Game give clues and games have clues, some play the “use em and lose em” game. Other plays the “I give my life to you” game. Depending on the game we play, the rules and result differ.

As for me, I need a man who is prepared to be fully present to me, so I can be me. I want him to listen, really listen, hearing even what is not said, to be able to make sense to my silence. I want him to be there for me when words get difficult. Perhaps I am the incurable romantic. I knew I am a believer in miracles, knowing that I will see it when I believe it. Well who can blame me if I want the all..?The romance, the flower, the chocolate? I know if it is meant to be, it’s up to me.. After all I just want to be the happiest person the whole wide world.