Merry Christmas.

christmas is just around the corner meaning tat closer to 2011 all ready.. yeahhhh. Happy holiday!!

i think im in love.

living a life

lastnite i watch movie " revolutionary road" played by my favourite kate and leonardo. what a sweet story line about life , i think it more to marriage life. but somehow i dunno why i felt related to the character played by kate. too bad i guess when u speed so many years losing touch with ur soul and up making u become a bit lose and going slightly insane :(

wouldn't it be so nice if we could really be exactly who we are. and not have to think for a second about what we're wearing or what we're saying or what we're doing; to be free and just be ourself? well evryones know life isn't like that these days. now we're living in a very judgmental society. life now is about struggle no matter in life or in relantionships.

There is nothing worse than living a life that you feel you shouldn't be living, or feeling trapped, whether it's because of your job or your marrige/relationship- or whatever it may be. everybody needs something to hope for. i think that's what life is about. life is about working through those times.it's to do with you figuring out who you are until you really work out what its means to be happy. for those who havent watch tis movy pls go to the nearest dvd shop get one for urself.

My brought forward plan..

in life to get what we want, we must willing to take an honest, even brutal look at what's going on and whats going wrong. agreed?? no? yes? hmm well yeaa its true. and i realise its already end of november. one more month we're entering 2011 bye bye 2010.. and sure the question started to bloom again over and over again for another year. the question is ..taaadddaaa " when r u going to settledown dear?" or " umur u da berapa ni bila nak kahwin? lambat kahwin susah nak dapat anak nanti" see that will be question of the year. meaning i have 2 choices, 1st settle for anyone to avoid being alone but with who? 2nd, endure spells of drought while waiting for prince charming tapi wujudka prince charming?? but i believes people should not settle for second best..hmm susah jugakan.

recently i been going out with a few people but all of them seems too young lar..i dunno u but 28yrs old for guys izzit too young for a charming lady like me :P am 32yrs old by the way. like one of my date say " siti kahdijah kahwin dgn rassullah a.s pun umur dia 40yrs old" eya la kan i baru 32 tua mana la tu. opppsss.

Heart Determines

It's ok to kiss a fool,It's ok to let a fool kiss you, but never ever let a kiss fool you.It's still best to wait for the one you want than settle for the one available.Best to wait for the one you love than settle for one who's around.Best to wait for the right one.Life is short to waste on the wrong person.It is better to meet the person who will truly love you later, than meet someone now who promises to love you but sooner or later leave you forever.Never try to impress someone to make him/her fall in love with you.If you do, you will be expected to keep the standard for the rest of your life.Fate determines who comes into our lives. But heart determines who stays!

fitnah..

salam. i tak pernah difitnah sebegitu rupa dan sebegitu hina sekali. sedey sangat bila orang menggunakan nama Allah swt dan agama islam untuk menampakkan diri mereka tu "perfect figure". tapi tak ada budi bahasa. cakap ikut sedap mulut saja. sabar saja la.

Trip to Tip of Borneo

i spent my holiday visiting tip of borneo, kudat.wow its a breathe taking moment. rasa bila ada sampai memang tak nak balik. we start our journey from kk around 900am reaching there around 12pm. penat jugak driving tapi berbaloi sangat sangat..bila dah sampai kat sana memang terpegun dengan kekuasaan ALLAH SWT yang telah mencipta semua keindahan alam untuk kita. yang penting memang nak pergi sana lagi rasa tak puas. Harap harap lepas ni ada banyak chalet utk penginapan. mesti pemandangan tu indah sekali diawal pagi..hmm cant imagine but 1 day mesti berpeluang untuk menikmati awal pagi di tip of bornoe.

http://www.sabahtravelguide.com/mapguide/default.asp?page=kudat

medical check up

done my yearly medical check up ths morning. fuh lately banayk kali sangat sakit.insyallah takda apa yang serious.takut juga ni. next wek baru dapat result.

jodoh pertemuan rahsia Allah..

kenapa ada pertemuan jika hanya berakhir dengan perpisahan? takpe la, kehidupan mmg macam tu ka. yang muda pasanganya yg muda juga tak kan bersama yang tua. memang tak da yang mustahil tapi perkara tu tak terjadi pada ku jadi memang tak percaya.

kalau muda mmg sanggup,
cuma yang tua nk tunggu yg muda
jadi tua je selalunya tergendala.

mcm baris baris ayat ni sampai sekarang i tak paham apa maksudnya..atau biar je la kan.

its mine..

finally my new baby is arrived unexpectedly..hihihi my oficmate bought for me, goshh so happy

falls in love all over again..

my fren sonia call me yesterday noon to check out ths 2 baby, imediately falls in luv, i wan thm all!!!! got 4 pair actually but manage to snap 2 pairs only..and booking done..yeaahhh..kalau tak guarantee gila bayang ni.

i ni asyik mengeluh ja kan.ish tak baik la..perangai yang mesti ditinggalkan..mesti.

its wednesday, hmm time flies so fast..semoga hari hari yang bakal datang akan membawa manfaat pada kita semua.

Allhamdulillah..

syukur allhaldulliah ke hadrat Allah SWT..akhirnya dia berlembut hati jua denganku. akan ku jaga hatinya mulai saat ni. gembira bila dia membalas smsku pagi ni. terasa dunia ni aku yang punya..allhamdulliah.. terima kasih Ya Allah kerana mengabulkan permintaan ku.

ishhhhh

hmmm entah sampai bila baru dia nak reply my msg. tak kan lama sangat.dah tak boleh sabar da ni.ni betul vetul mencabar keimanan dan kesabaran i.
oh ya ingat pula pasal lastnite adalah 1 bank regional manager bawa i dinner.heheh so i pun suggest makan kat japanese food kat hyatt..sedap2 i nak makan tetiba dia cakap nak jadi i punya boyfriend..aduh jiwa kacau la. orang yang kita tunggu tak pula cakap macam tu dia ni pulak sibuk nak jadi bf org. tak sedar diri betul, anak da 3 wife fulltime housewife.hairan juga lelaki ni kan tak pernah cukup dengan 1, tak kisah la lelaki cina ka india ka melayu jangan cakap la. konon ada kuota 4 tapi tak sedar diri mampu tak mampu tak pulak diorg fikir. so lastnite i pun termenyesal keluar dengan dia. eyala bukan apa i keluar tu because dah banyak kali reject pelawaan dia,so nak bagi muka punya cerita la ni. tup tup lain pulak jadinya..ish terpaksa la i nak menyelak daripada terserempak dengan dia everyday..nak breakfast kat mana lagi ni?? kalau tempat yang i selalu pergi tu dia pun kat sana.tension jugakan. takpe la..selagi boleh dielak kita cuba jakan. i ni tengah dok nak menanti seseorg tapi dia tu macam jual mahal sangat la.so be patience ja dulu.insyallah tak kan kemana pun.

its friday..

assalamualaikum, cepat masa berlalu.alamdulillah masih ada hari ni untukku..semoga ari ni lebih baik dari hari hari yang telah berlalu.
terkadang bila sendiri terfikir juga kan, tentang diri sendiri. benda yang kita nak memang bukan semua kita dapat. like me kita suka orang tu, orang tu jual mahal sangat..mungkin ini la dia what goes around comes around. mungkin dulu i pernah bersikap yang sama..so Allah swt nak i rasa macam org lain pernah rasa. eyala kita buat silah tampa kita sendari. nasib baik diingatkan lebih awal.. so kena bertawakal selalu dengan NYA. sabar banyak banyak dan mesti selalu minta pertolongan daripada Allah swt. kita percaya Allah swt tak kan menguji umatnya lebih daripada kemampuan seseorg. insyallah semua dapat diharungi dengan tabah.

faith

ya ALLAH SWT..bagi la aku kekuatan dlm menghadapi segala dugaanMU. semoga semuanya berakhir dengan baik, aman dan damai. insyallah.

wondering...

hidup ni memang unpredictable kan..kita selalu want the best for everything tapi selalunya memang hard to get. eya la semua org cakap we must hav faith and always think positive..yakin dan yakin insyallah apa yang kita inginkan mesti kita dapat. kena sabar..sememangnya i memang kena belajar banyak bersabar. i nak sumtin new in mylife, sumtin fresh and i dun want to make any mistake especially mistake yang berulang. entah la sapa yang nak di salah kan..hmmm siapa lagi kan mestila diri sendiri tak kan la orang lain. bila difikirkan entah dimana silapnya tiap kali aku bercinta, mesti ada jak yang tak kena. bila aku dah falls for sumone mesti banyak la cabaran yang datang.macam kali ni, i knew he likes me and he had the same feelings like mine tapi dia masih nak main tarik tali with me and setiap kali tula memang i yang kena bersabar. i ni memang bukan seorang yang penyabar.. i believe tats why ALLAH SWT nak i belajar bersabar. kena sabar dengan perangai orang, eya la kita bukanya dapat control other people behaviour kan.yang i tak paham with myself lagi why i keep doing the same mistake..mana silapnya..mcm my frens cakap i ada package(alhamdulillah,syukur ke hadratNYA) tapi yang i asyik tersepit dalam keadaan ja apasal ah?? bila nak difikirkan tentang hal ni memang takkan habis punya la.i need a solution. ya..tats the answer.

tibanya syawal..

Di saat saat menanti ketibaan syawal ni memang la hiba..terasa kerdil sangat mengenangkan diri yang akan beraya jauh dari saudara. eyala dulu-dulu pun bukanya raya sakan juga tapi sekurang-kurangnya berada sama tempat dengan makcik,pakcik dan sepupu tapi tahun ni i dengan ma saja celebrate dekat kk.sedeynye. macam macam dugaan mendatang..Ya Allah permudahkan la jalan hamba mu ini.amin.

Alhamdulillah..

syukur ke hadrat Allah SWT, terjumpa juga i maid yang murah nak bayar gaji. lepas tu she can click with my ma dan rajin pulak bekerja. eyala previous maid tu pun memang bagus dan pandai buat kerja tapi tak sanggup lagi nak bayar gaji dia. mahal sangat la.
apa apa pun syukur semuanya ok. harap2 my mom getting well soon.insyallah.

Life..

Stil a long journey..

choices..

Choice are never easy to make- the one you love may not be good to you. The one who is good for you may not the one you love..but still you have to make the choices that you think is the right one.

crumpy?

ni nak cerita ckit kisah i pegi lunch with aishah tadi. kita pegi la kat peppermint jln pantai nak makan nasi ayam & beef stew. sampai kat situ full house, so normal la kena la beratur tunggu meja kosong. ada la satu table ni (Chinese ppl) makan ada siap minuman pun da habis tapi pot pet pot pet tak juga beredar. kita dua berdiri kat sebelah table diorg mcm pengemis tapi diorg buat bodoh je. panasnya hati aku.tak pandai nak consider org lain. meja lain pun makan juga tapi takde la sampai nak buka kedai kopi kat situ. sampai i dapat meja diorg pun tak juga beredar. ishhh mmg menyampah tengok diorg la. ni sama la kes dekat parking lot. da tau org signal dan tunggu dia keluar dari parking tapi thy take diorg punya sweetime lagi dlm kereta. tapi bila my turn memang tak sedap hati kalau nak bagi org tunggu kita lama2. ishhh tak paham la sesetengah manusia ni. tu la org cakap rambut sama hitam hati budi lain lain kan.

something missing..

I get so frustrated sometimes, lately my life not that good.

I just feel like I'm not doing what I'm supposed to be doing with my life.

I think I need to start focusing more on my creative side and see where that takes me but somehow

I just feel like something is missing...

extra income

what should i do in order for me to earn extra income? i've alotsa of idea but i just can't understand myself, why can't i make the 1st first step? what stoping me?

ni i buat masa i tengah boring..hmm bole la creative juga me kan.i memang nak buat banyak lagi hmm mayb clutch, hp pouch ..etc tapi keadaan tak mengizinkan(malas la tu) :)

all by myself

ingatkan susah senang kita ni akan selalu dikongsi bersama teman, sahabat or saudara mara. kalau tak tolong pun mungkin hanya sebagai tempat mengadu. tapi ternyata bila dah kena badan sendiri baru la tau siapa teman , sahabat, rakan and saudara yang sejati. mother sekarang ni terlantar dekat hospital suspect lung cancer but still pending confirmation from lab.stressnya bukan kepalang mana tidaknya adik beradik 2 org saja, tinggal pun berjauhan bila cuti or weekend baru dpt tolong me jaga mom. satu persatu masalah yang timbul. ada pulak tu pakcik GILa yang tak bagi org2 yg sewa rumah me lalu dekat tepi rumah dia. goshhh YA ALLAH..aku pasrah dengan apa yg engkau berikan.baik yang buruk maupun yang baik. aku bermohon kehadratMU sembuhkan la ibuku..

i really wish i run my own business rite now, cos am kinda bored really really bored with my current work. i hate everything about my work now.i cannot click with my bos..i am totally 100% hate my job now. but i dun want to change or quit my job and after working for another company. because i knw i will be getting the same feeling like what i felt now..boring!!!

i want to run my very own business. i like fashion so much so i was thinking to sale something..mayb for a started i can sell clothing or accesories online..promote my things to my frens or my family.. insyallah i believe i can do it!!!

Kinda bored at d ofic.

Peace

counting the day to come...

I’m about 2 months and 15days away from turning 32 yrs old. Now I realize life is too short.I’ve been thinking a lot about the kind of girl I used to be, all the cool things I’ve seen and done, as well as all the stupid mistakes I’ve made that have ended up hurting myself and others close to me.


I look back my past life and I can’t help but ask myself- have I grown up? Am I the person I wanted to become? Am I where I should be in terms of my character and my career? We live in a society that demands we achieves as much as we can, as fast as we can. But what happens if we don’t? What if life takes us in difference direction, somewhere we weren’t expecting to ever go? What then? Still remembber, when I finally got out of school and started working, I was stunned by how ambitious I was how badly I wanted to succeed and how far I was willing to go to achieve success. When you’re just beginning to build your career, you have a lot of zeal. Everything is about doing well & making money.

It’s a very blind period in one’s life, I feel. Most of the times you don’t notice a lot of things because you’re so focused on putting yourself out there, its like tunnel- vision. And because you’re so in the thick of everything, because you keep pushing to get where you want to be, it isn’t until much, much later that you start to see all the cracks in the systems, all the chinks in the armor,
All the things you sacrificed to get where you are.

Should i feel ashamed? What if, a little over a year from now, I wake up only to find myself still not rich and still not married? I suppose this is where the: as long as you’re happy” saying comes into play. But this isn’t necessarily about you think.what about your family? Families always say they want what’s best for their children and they mean it. In fact, I’d say that’s probably the most directly honest thing you will ever hear your parents say to you. They want what’s best because they love you.The reason they drive this point home is because the alternative isn’t worth thinking about. From childhood, we are brought up to believe success equals happiness, and that one rarely exists without the other.Ideally, when my 32 birthday swings around, I should have a solid life, be married to a nice husband, hopefully.

life

We all having very different experiences with love, maybe for me I didn’t love myself enough to have a man who loved me dearly. I need to learn to love myself and accept the real me and see deep side of me so that I could open my heart to bringing the right person in my life.

We all mess up from time to time or maybe. Allow each other to mess up, and perhaps the best we can do is expect people to learn from what happen and admit to that and move from that. And for me I learned a lot from past experience and hopefully I can move on. I think there is a struggle to find balance in life. Sometime for some reason I feel a need to have it all, a family, a relationship, and work. I think we spread ourselves really thin to make the effort to make it all happen. I don’t know if it can be done, I honestly I don’t think anyone knows. We just try to be happy, searching for serenity in life.. Yup tats sound nice actually, easier to say..than to be done

Oh maybe,just MAYBE life would be easier to just surrender and let things happen the way they’re supposed to be. I’m not saying we should surrender everything and not have ambition or have any thought of where you want to go, what you want to accomplish or who you want to be with, but it’s as matter of, you can’t fight what is going to happen. It’s more of an adventure and we will never know what and how its was if we not dare to try.

I’m tried and sick of mylife And myself. It’s the curse of life, you have to fight to find time, and relationships are hard work. They need workouts. It’s like cultivating anything. Its need attention, care and application. Actually anything and everything in this world you have to fight and I really tired!! Maybe start from now I really need to think the slogan “ what goes around comes around” and “you fool me first ashamed on you , fool me twice ashamed on you”

Luv me? Luv me not?

sad..

It just a few days after New Year and I all ready have problem. The best part is...I’m alone!! No one to talk to and I don’t know to who I want to ask for help. Even just to release my stress. Sometime I think, not sometime actually. The correct words are “all the time”... ya that is the correct words. Everytime I’ve problem surely will be alone. I just need a shoulder to cry on or an ear to listen to my problem .That all. Nothing more nothing less.

1st sunset 2010

May all beautiful things happens in 2010.